fatletes: Tough Mudder Recap

Ok well this race was just to much fun and just too hard not to post about. I ran, hiked, crawled, and swam in the So Cal Tough Mudder race in Running Springs Ca (a ski resort). I am also blogging this so that I can stop telling the story over and over again. The next post will be from the new Fatlete blogger, Sarah.

Tough Mudder So. Cal July 7, 2012 (Pics from Tough Mudder facebook, none are of me but are from actual race day)

I had to look at half naked guys all day... it was a tough day.

Starting line.. so to get to the Tough Mudder starting line you have to climb a Berlin Wall (12ft wall), and I did what any girl would do, I asked the very large handsome man next to me to give me a boost. This would be the first time I got felt up before a race, but would not be the last time I was felt up during this one.

The Death March

This was a mile up a ski slope and for the most part was not a problem for me, I run hills like this everyday in St George. However! Yeah there is a however, coming down the steep hill, in what must of have been some kind of pumy dirt (it was so dusty), I started as asthma attack of which I did not fully recover from until the next day. Favorite part of going up the hill was when the guy next to me announced that he should have put on deodorant because he was starting to smell like "a lesbian brothel." LOL I cannot make this stuff up, that is what he said.

Arctic Enema (sounds pleasant right?)

This obstacle was the one that scared me the most the weeks before the race. I had read so much about it and I just really hate being cold and I have a fear of drowning. I had read that this would be the second obstacle in the race but didn't realize what is was until I had already climb up on top of the pools. As I looked down I knew I was going to just have to jump in and not think about it.

I stayed close to the sides which is good because I lost all the oxygen in my body as I hit the water. The water came almost to my shoulders. I needed to swim under the board (plank) at the half way point in the pool. As I went under the water I was scared. Really scared! Would I come back up?! The water was so cold I thought my chest was going to cave in. I got to the other side quickly but the girl in front of me was having problems getting out of the water. I found myself yelling at her to "please hurry" as I pushed her butt out of the water. I was in so much pain, I needed to get out!! As I came out of the water, all I could say was "holy cow, holy frick" over and over again. Getting out of that ice bath had to be one of the best feelings in the world. I would dare to say better than sex ( but what do I know, it's been a while)

Ice bath!!!

This time two guys next to me had this conversation... "I have rocks in my shoes." "Oh yeah, I have rocks in my balls." I would have laughed if I could catch my breath.

Cliff Hanger

As I hiked another ski slope, I found myself climbing next to several handsome guys in tutu's. They were Team Tutu. Fun bunch of guys. The one in a red tutu hiking next to me looked over at me and said "I'm single." Hot dang! I was being flirted with on the race course, but I am a nerd, and I really didn't know what to say. I should have said "I'm single too, meet you after the race." But no, instead I said "well you are rocking that skirt." I would enjoy most of the race behind or running next to Team Tutu. Their team effort was inspirational as they declared "no tutu would be left behind."

We climb ski slope and and ski slope and by climb I mean many people had started to use their hands to help from falling backwards. My glutes were on fire, and out loud said "climbing this hill better make my butt look good." The guy behind me assured me "it already does." Well thank you dear sir.

One sign on the hill read "watch for falling rocks, they hurt"

Berlin Walls (first set)

I knew the Berlin Walls would be easy as I had already done one to get to the start line, I just needed to pick a guy to help me over again. This time I got the tallest, most handsome, guy I could find. Holy cow, I think I felt him up as he lifted me over the wall. He could have lifted me up over the wall with one arm.

Berlin Wall (second set)

I neared the second set of walls, and the guy who had ran down the hill next to me offered to get me over the walls. He looked kind of like a guy I had dated (the Therapist), so he was cute and pretty freakin fit, and I was very agreeable to his helping hand. He got me over all the walls and told me good job. Maybe I should have waited for him and got his number, but who has time for that? Bring on the next obstacle.

Walking the Plank

Have I mentioned I am scared of heights. Well I am. Especially jumping 15 ft into a mountain lake. I climbed up the plank (easy enough) but when I got to the top and looked down, I lost it. I was so scared. I had no idea I was going to be this scared. My legs were shaking! Another girl on the plank was terrified too and holding on to the side. Guys were jumping into the water, some doing flips into the water, all around us and a drill Sargent came over and started yelling out to me to jump. He practically pushed me a few times. The other scared girl, said we could go together, and we held hands and started to to count to three but she chickened out and let go of my hand and said she "couldn't do it." So, oh I had to do it. I couldn't go back down the plank, I would have been too embarrassed. I looked into the water at one of the rescue people, made sure he had eye contact with me and jumped. I must not have hit the water gracefully because when I popped back up my head was throbbing. As I caught my first breath, I dropped the "f" bomb. I know its not lady like and just disgusting that I did it, but my head hurt. I hit the water so hard, I could have broke my nose, or flatten my face and you all would have had to nickname me "Pug." The life guard guy asked if I needed any help to shore, I said no, because the worse part, the jump, was over. Next time I am bringing water wings.

Electric Eel

This was a fun obstacle that required me to go into the mud under live wires. I already told everyone that the electric shock therapy obstacle at the end of every Tough Mudder race made me nervous but I didn't realize that there was a chance of getting shocked at two separated obstacles. I decided to just dive right in behind a guy that seemed fearless. I was almost out of the mud when, AWWWWW!!! I got shocked right in the shoulder blade. I let out a scream I am sure people down in San Diego could hear. Everyone around the obstacle got quit for a second, and then a guy behind me started to laugh. "Stop laughing, it freakin hurt." Just as I got to the very end the guy who had came out before me he said my butt was close to wire and asked if he wanted him to pull me out. I really didn't need a bolt of electricity in my butt so I said "yes".

Half Pipe

This giant half pipe in covered in water, thanks to a snow blower no less, and is about 12 feet tall. The idea here is to run as fast as you can and hope another Mudder grabs your hand and pulls you up. My first run I grabbed the hand of another Mudder, but it was just him and he had a hold of just my fingers. Our fingers slipped apart and I fell forward hitting my chin on the half pipe hard and rolled down the rest. I landed at the bottom of the half pipe with a thud. I laid on the ground just for a second. I didn't feel any stinging from my chin so I figured I wasn't bleeding. I pounded the ground with my fist, jumped back up and went back to the lines to try it again. The next run, I made sure two guys could see I was ready to run. I ran as fast as I could and jumped, they caught me. Each had a hand and I looked up at them and begged them "please don't let go, just don't let go." Hmmm this sounds like the start of a needy complicated relationship. LOL

They held on, and another guy grabbed my arm and they all pulled me up. Unfortunately my shirt got caught on the lip of the half pipe and it felt like someone tried to tear off my left boob. Ouch!! I didn't stay on the wall to help anyone, because I weigh 110lbs, have short arms, and no upper body strength so I really wouldn't offer much assistance.

I will also mention by this point in the race a girl running behind me (a military gal from a San Diego base) told me I was bleeding as she pointe to my shoes. The shoes I had chosen to wear for the race, trail runners meant for trails and water, and had for several other times, and rubbed the back of my ankles. I was bleeding quite a bit and didn't even feel it. I told her thanks and kept running with her for awhile. Women in the military rock!

There were tons of other obstacles and I had a great time in the mud and challenging myself both physically and mentally. It was a great way to spend my 35th Birthday and I will be back Tough Mudder and next time with a team. I am thinking Team Super Tutu. I call the Superwoman outfit!

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