Captain's log...star date 06182012, this... will be... my last mission...
ok my last blog post.
(Ok you can stop the Captain Kirk impression now)
It's time for my secret identity to become my only identity. LOL I totally stole that line from the Incredibles. I make myself laugh, all the time.
I think we have just confirmed that I am a nerd, as I have used a Star Trek reference. LOL
I hinted recently that I would someday stop writing Fatletes and after much thought and prayer I have decided that today's post will be my last.
Originally, I started blogging on my Beachbody website last year. My Beachbody blog got such a great response (people actually reading it and saying that they felt inspired by it) that I thought I should start a larger blog. But it was just a thought... until...one night I wanted to vent about something I had read online. The Fatletes blog was born.
The blog has done some good things for me and for others. I have inspired others and many of you have written me and said that the words I have written have helped you lose weight, exercise, or deal with a relationship. And the blog has assisted me with many self revelations, of which I am grateful that I have had an opportunity to explore in this format.
However, the blog has caused drama in my life of which I do not wish to have and I feel like writing the blog is causing a disconnect between me and others. Drama has brought negativity into my life, and once something becomes negative and toxic, I have to let it go.
In there recent past I have found myself defending the blog, my thoughts, and who I am. But the blog is not who I am, it's just a blog, and I could never fully explain myself in the blog. The blog has helped me communicate when I could not find the words but it is time to move beyond the blog, and find my voice. I have spent many years not telling others how I feel and falling silent. I no longer can do that.
If you had asked me 6 months ago, if I was good at communicating, I would have said yes. I am very good at sales and closing deals. I am very good discussing and arguing state release statutes and title law. And if you ever have a chance to be with me in court or a board room, make no doubt I will get my point across. But in matters of the heart or expressing my feelings I completely suck at communication. Again, I am working on that and it seems the blog was just a launch pad for me to start the process of learning how to express myself more freely and without fear to others.
I have gotten away from the blogs roots, my roots, and that was to help and inspire people with their weight loss and to become fit. I feel the blog at this point is not inspirational, just entertainment for most readers, and serves my need for attention and gives me a place to rant and rave. I am going to have to learn to get and receive attention from one person, I am going to have to learn not to be a whore! (Will you all miss me calling myself a whore? Come on... you know it's funny!) And I will have to learn to share my highs and lows with one person, instead of airing them to the public.
I will take the energy I have given to this blog and try and refocus it on my relationships with those people who I care about the most. Instead of opening myself up for criticism from random people, I will just try to be more open and real with the people who are already in my life, as their opinions and feelings are what count the most to me.
I will still have a creative outlet, I still paint and I will continue a writing project that I started some time ago... a private project not for public review at this time. I will continue my work with Beachbody and I am preparing for Coach's Summit this weekend. I am excited to have an onscreen interview for the Chalene Johnson workouts as well as a photo shoot.
I will stop by once and awhile, maybe write a race recap or give an update... but don't hold your breath for either. To my loyal readers, I love you all. So many of you have inspired me, and I will keep your comments and messages as sweet reminders of this time.
To satisfy my nerdy side and to complete the theme of today's blog, I leave you with my favorite Captain Kirk quotes.
There's only one kind of woman...or man, for that matter. You either believe in yourself or you don't. -- Kirk in 'Mudd's Women'
Without freedom of choice there is no creativity. The body dies. -- Kirk in 'The Return Of The Archons'
Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed...but a woman is always a woman. -- Kirk in 'Conscience of the King'
No more blah, blah, blah! -- Kirk in 'Miri'
LOL:)
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