fatletes: Protect This House

Wrote this one awhile ago but just now got the pic for it. I wrote it to make a point and to be a brat. The "protect this house" core workout posted below:

Rental home, previously on a short term lease, is now available for purchase. Home will not be going to the highest bidder but to the person who brings the plans for the best expansion. Home is intended to accommodate a large family. Ideas of relocating the home to another site will be considered ,but the home was built for mild winters and hot summers. All country settings will be considered.

Home has attractive exterior and is fun and bright inside. Home has good plumbing and a clean basement. No wear or tear here! Attic has some clutter but can be removed easily, and the new owner's precious belongings may be stored for safe keeping. Home comes with a limited warranty from the builder, who lovingly gave this home a good foundation and strong frame.

Previous owner did some major damage to the heart of the home as did previous tenant. Repairs are under way but new owner may need to complete. Home is in need of a good security system, as it still needs to be protected from further damage from outside sources.

This home has great potential to the right buyer. Home must be owner occupied, and may not be used as a rental again. Sale will be final and agreement to buy will be completed purchase in the temple.

All inquires on purchase will be confidential. There will not be any open houses or tours and only serious pre-qualified buyers need apply.