I Want To Puke

Today's post has nothing to do with being a fatlete... it's about me and finding more strength, this time as a daughter.

Today I was told my Mom is sick...real sick.  I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, punched me so hard I couldn't breath and I wanted to puke at the same time.  I know in the past I have said "My Mom is crazy," and to me, she is, lol.   I think that might be a normal mother/ daughter relationship.  Over the years we haven't had the greatest relationship but for what we lost she has made up for with my kids.  She is the best Grandma my kids could have and loves them like no other. 

As my Mom asked today to spend her final days closer to me and the kids, I thought I wouldn't want it any other way.  I plan on prolonging her time with her Grand kids as long as possible.  Time is short and there are memories to be made.  My babies are young as are my brothers kids (two of which are not even born yet), and I want to make sure they all have some time with Grandma Neice. 

I know this is my year of being strong but that means finding compassion and patience, and the love and strength to hold someone else up when they are at their weakest.  I love you Mom, and when you are ready we'll bring you home.

A quick thank you to a few people, to Amy and Becky you let me cry on their shoulders today.  To Brenyl, one of my best friends, who I just can't seem to go a day without talking with, I know you always be there.  And to Jake who calls me a nerd when I need to smile. 

And I stole this from my cousin's fb wall and thought it kind of works for me today too

When your down and out you always find out who your true friends are and I may not have many friends but I have the kind who are there when you need someone to hold you up! You know who you are and you know I love you!

If you were unsure of how I was going to deal with this news, yeah, I am going to go run an insane amount of miles.  And I spoke to a therapist who approved of this method of self therapy.  So ha!