Broken

Last night I spoke to dear friend.  This friend has been there for me since Jr High.  She was there the first time I fell in love, she was there the first time that boy broke my heart.  These days we only speak a few times a year but our conversations always pick back up were we left off.  I still think of us as two silly girls, whispering about dreams and boys in the middle of the night hoping not to wake up her Grandma.

This is your time.

She, like me is now divorced and like me, years of a broken heart now show on her body.  She has extra weight that accumulated with the extra stress and lack of love and support.  But now, now she is ready.  Ready to make the change.  She is ready to stand up for herself, her body, and her heart.  All can be repaired my friend! 

The best revenge is not kicking his a$$ it's making your a$$ the best thing he can never have again.

Last night as my friend and I spoke about our futures, I gave my friend my list of what I was looking for in my Superman.  Here it is in short...

A LDS man, active in the church, a worthy priesthood holder, prefer never married, and prefer no kids.  Must have served a mission and I want a temple wedding.  Must be tall and handsome (that's a given). 

She laughed at me when I told her this.  She said at our age (we are only 34) this can not be possible (never married, no kids!).  I wish she could have seen my smile after she said that, it was my all knowing smile.  I know it's possible because I have already seen the path.  I know anything is possible now. 

I use to doubt possibility too.  I use to be one of those people who was "realistic."  Like if you had told me 2 years ago I would be a size 0, I would have laughed at you.  I would have said "never happen."  If you had told me I would run a 100 miles a month I would have told you "you're crazy." "I mean let's be realistic," right?  If two years ago you had told me a co-founder of a major website or a former model would have any interest in a relationship with me, again I would have laughed at you.  See two years ago, I had no self value, I wasn't loved, I had stopped loving myself, and I was completely broken.  I was ignored, I was mistreated, and I was being used.  I did not know possible even existed.

It's been almost two years since I decided to change my life.  Each day since, I have got stronger, not just physically but emotionally and mentally.  Each day I make choices based on dreams and not what is realistic.  Each day I choose to love myself.  I know now that nothing is impossible. 

I'm stronger.  You will be too.

I need my friend to know that things can be better than she could ever imagine. I want to remind her never to settle for less than everything.  And to those people who tell you that your dreams are silly, those people lack dreams of their own. They are broken and you do not need them in your life. 

The repair process will allow my friend to show her true colors and learn who she is as the deepest levels (I sound like a freakin E-harmony commercial).

To my friend,

DO NOT SETTLE!! 
DO NOT LET OTHERS TELL YOU NO!!
DO NOT LET THEM BREAK YOU!!

You may be broken but you are repairable.  You are wonderful and let the emotional baggage go with the weight.  Remember that happy teenage girl who wanted it all, be her again, but with more spending power.

LOVE YOU MY FRIEND! YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING ON THE LIST AND MORE!