It literally takes me weeks to write this post, so you would think I would have time to edit for spelling and grammar but you would be wrong! So overlook my errors, forgive my punctuation, and read at your own risk. This year's post is a long one, get comfy.
One of me and 6 of her…This is how it feels somedays. LOL
I'll start by saying being a mom is what God placed me on this earth to do. My children are my greatest achievement. I have four amazing kids with bright futures. Yeah I know every mom says that!
THE GOONIEBIRDS (MY KIDS)
Payton, my oldest (13 almost 14!!!) is funny and entertaining, smart, popular, and he annoys me like no other. Payton tells me stories that make me laugh and is the life of the party. I think he would like to think he is a ninja with cat like reflexes, but the kid has yet to sneak up on anyone. LOL Payton, has came into his own this past year, making more decisions on his own, using his agency, and spreading his wings. Fly my little Gooniebird, fly!
Hadley, my 10 year old is quiet and sneaky, and probably will build something that will change your life someday, but you will not know he is inventor of said item, because he is more the Steve Wozniak type than the Steve Jobs type. MIT you may want to just start offering him scholarships now, but please disregard his current math grade, a boy with his engineering skills does not have the time to hand in homework. Ain't nobody got time for that!
Fox, my 6 year old, is a sweet loving boy, and his handsome good looks and charm will win him a senate race someday. When that happens, expect senate hearings to be held outside and legislation to be decided on the soccer field, just be warned that he carries a lacrosse stick, so you may not want to try a filibuster. I also think there is a chance he could graduate law school without opening a book… It's better not to know why I think that. Ha!
All three boys are GIRL CRAZY! All three still have an endless supply of potty humor that they prefer to share over a meal. They all smell like wet puppies unless they are sweaty then they smell like taco meat. Boys can be gross!!!
Uma, my little girl, now age 5, finally wears a size T3. She is a well balanced little girl facing the cruel harsh torments of her brothers with sass and manipulation that only a pretty little girl can dish out with a simple flutter of her eyelashes. She is my beautiful monster, part princess, part terrorist. She is my most constant sidekick, until she starts kindergarten this year, when she will be downgraded to part time sidekick. Uma is not boy crazy, in fact I am sure she has the power to see through boys, except for one, Sam. Sam is a cute little blonde haired, brown eyed, neighbor boy, with a Charlie Brown shaped head who's name alone can turn Uma into mush.
Never a dull moment with Oobie around.
MY SUPERPOWERS (OR LACK THEREOF)
This year I have learned more about what it takes to be a superwoman, to be a supermom… and sorry to say, but I am neither. Oh I try, I try everyday, but until I learn to clone myself, I will fall short of expectations.
I try to run a well organized house, perfectly clean, and decorated like a home in Pottery Barn. I try to make it all look easy, carpooling, coaching, helping kids with school work, church callings, running several businesses, and being the better half to a very handsome man, but the truth is, it is not easy! I try to look always put together, high heels, matching handbag, with my hair and make up looking flawless. I like to think I can do it all and have it all. I try!!!
This year, I have tried to master our family schedule down to the minute. Mornings around this place go as follows. 7:15 first alarm goes off. 7:18 I have to find my shoes. 7:20 car must be started because I hate a car that is too cold or two warm. 7:25 I must take Payton to school. 7:40 breakfast must be in progress. 7:45 breakfast must be in full swing and backpacks retrieved to grab lunch bags and review homework. Family prayer and scripture must be done by 7:55. 8:00 boys must have hair combed teeth brushed. Lunches have to be packed and in backpacks by 8:04. Boys must catch morning neighborhood carpool and must walk out the door at 8:05 If any of this schedule is off by just a few minutes my Gooniebirds fly the coup and find a way to entertain themselves.
Here they are plotting to launch the dog in a slingshot they made one morning. A few extra minutes on their hands can lead to some villain like activity very quickly, LOL
Uma and I spend the morning working (running my data company, trustee business, Beachbody coaching biz, and consulting company) and creating wonderful pieces of art. I work and she colors or paints, if she does it on canvas or a piece of paper I call it art, if it is on a wall or her body we declare it to be an unfortunate miss hap and we hope either a magic eraser or acetone can take care of the situation. We spend mornings in our workout wear, hair pulled back, and extremely casual until we actually feel motivated enough to go for a run or until I feel like a blob and go do a Beachbody workout. We shower in time to get Uma to preschool or when Jake needs us to bring him lunch. Jake is my handsome better half (more about him later).
Afternoons fly by too quickly. I work, I return calls, I volunteer at the school, and I run errands, followed by afternoon carpool. For carpool, I know I must return to my neighborhood with 5 kids in the car. Some days I don't care which 5 they are, just so I return with 5. The rest of the afternoon is spent picking up the house that is in constant cycle of clean and messy. The kids work on homework, play, and I finish my work for the day. After 5 we have sports practices or games, with activities lasting until 9 pm some nights. Each week we fit in a family movie night, and FHE (Mondays), music lessons, and church activities.
Evenings I cook dinner, I try to get creative with dinner, trying new recipes from Pintrest, but when in doubt, I chose a pasta with a side of salad or fruit. We eat as a family, at the dinning room table each night. I can't promise proper use of utensils, use of napkins, or proper conversation, but being together is very important to us.
We spend time as a family each night and sometimes that can be as simple as the boys playing video games down in the Bat Cave. I love seeing my four handsome guys together, heads all tilted sideways, and biting their tongues as they play the Playstation. I find it very cute that they all make the same face as they play. Uma and I try to avoid sitting in the cave with them for too long because I think they go in there to release certain odors. Gross!!!
Kids are put to bed between 8pm and 10pm, depending on age. We say prayers and the boys read scriptures on their own for a few minutes. I spend the rest of the evening with Jake just enjoying his company and offering my opinion (worth 2 cents) on his growing business.
I might not get everyone on time to all activities and appointments, and I can't say I look like a runway model throughout my day but again, I try!
Until I meet my fate with toxic super slime that gives me unlimited cloning ability, I will have to settle for the power to give a look to a child that makes them behave in church. I will settle for the ability to see mis deeds done behind me and to hear whispered unkind words from across the house. I will settle for the power of a super nose, that allows me to smell when the dog has puked under a piece of furniture or the ability to turn off my super sniffer when a child has taken off their sweaty smelly football shoes and socks in the car. I will settle for the power of a loud shrieking attention grabbing voice to be heard over ruckus and petty sibling arguments. I will settle for the ability to find a lost objects upon my first try of looking. I will settle for the ability to clean up vomit for days on end and keep a smile on my face. I will settle for the ability to take away fevers and allergies with one quick swoop to a pharmacy. I will settle for the power to comfort a child who is restless and can't sleep. I will settle for the power to know when to step in and intervene and when to step back and let my children fight their own battles. I will settle for the ability to tell if a child in not telling the whole truth. I will settle for the power to kiss away boo boo's. I will settle for the power to heal hurt feelings with kind words and to soothe angry unkind feelings with a simple prayer. I will settle for the ability to make my children feel secure just by telling them "I love you." I will settle for the power that allows my children to feel my love, even if I am not right beside them. I will have to settle for the power to love them unconditionally. I will settle for the power to know their hearts, their goals, and their dreams.
DANG! Mom's are super! Quick, someone give me a cape before this feeling wears off!!
Seriously, where is my cape!? I'll take a pair of kicky little boots to match too please. Moms are can be everyday superheros!
CHASING SUPERMAN
Is this everyday superhero still chasing Superman? Nope!! It seems, I was more suited for Batman all along.
The guy who made me weak in the knees two years ago, the one who captured my attention, and stole my heart, the one in that big black, jacked up truck, well that is Jake, and he has remained a constant in our lives for over two years now. Jake and I officially started dating again a little under a year ago, but I have known all along he was special.
I guess my friends have the super power of seeing into the future because they kept saying
"What about Jake? There is something there."
He is my superhero and he has proved that to me time and time again. He has literally scooped me off the floor when I have dealt with the evil villains who have tried to destroy my family. It takes a special man to choose to be apart of a complicated situation like ours.
Jake has shown the courage to love and take responsibility for children that are not his biologically. He has stood the tests of four children who sought to find his weaknesses. His dedication to my kids has never wavered and he has remained consistent with his love, and discipline with the children.
His superpowers include putting up with me when I am being prideful or when I am being quiet. He can silence the storms that sometimes brew in my heart and can put my doubts to rest with just a few words. He makes me happy and my friends say I "glow" when he is near (a glow without the toxic slime). So it must be love. Either that, or it's my spray on tan. LOL JK It's love, of that I have no doubt.
He is my superhero and his kisses still send shivers down my spine.
He is more than I deserve.
SOMEDAY?
Someday very well could be my ultimate namaste, I have tried to catch it but it always seems to elude me. Or maybe it is my krypotnite and I can never be near it. It could be either or at this point.
Obviously I love Jake very much and everyone asks when will Jake and I get married and my answer is, "DON'T ASK!" Truth is, I don't know and in other words, he hasn't asked me. I know Jake loves me, yet he waits… Therefor I am waiting. I try not to think about it… I wait. I do what I can to keep time at bay… I wait. Sometimes I fear I am unmarriable… so I wait.
I may have to go buy myself a pretty little "golden age" ring from the Guardians of the Universe and wear it like an engagement ring. The ring works well for Green Lantern. The ring along with a plausible story like I am engaged but my fiancé is currently being kept on ice and I plan on thawing him out in 70 years when I am more suitable for marriage may keep people from asking me questions (Captain America reference if you didn't catch that). Or maybe I will tell people my fiancé had to return home to Asgard to take care of some family matters (that would be Thor.) Anyone impressed with my Superhero knowledge? Don't be, I am just good at Google searches.
I wait… And I pray time doesn't run out, because the more it goes, the more it's gone, the more it takes away… I wait.
Love is one of those things that can freak even a superhero out.
COURTSHIP LESSONS
I can say my lengthy courtship with Jake has taught me some valuable lessons. First, that we all must rid ourselves of whatever fantasies we have of marriage and who we thought we would spend our lives with. Life isn't a movie, there is no script, and I think in my case, and Jakes, we have moved past the casting call process. I am a not a princess (even if I have joked around about it in the past). A true love story is not a fairytale, and too many women, too many men for that matter, feel disappointment when their fairytale gets hijacked by reality or something unexpected… Maybe like meeting a girl with four kids, (not exactly every guys dream). We must learn to let go of expectations, our own, those of our well meaning friends and family, and especially those expectations given to us by Hollywood or people like Stephenie Meyer who write emotional porn. Expectations often lead to disappointment.
Second, I have also learned great lessons in respecting and honoring your significant other. In the past, I have read that a wife should put her husband first, even before her children. I always thought that was crazy talk! "Put someone before my kids?! NEVER!" But I now see that being in a relationship with a man that can be respected and honored, and by putting that man first, is a way of providing our children with more love and more security. It's a way of protecting a family from the outside world and teaching children about love, service, and sacrifice. It creates a stronger family unit. I am not talking about a wife putting the husband first in some demeaning, servant like way. Hear me out my feminist readers and mama bear types, I haven't just committed a crime against womanhood or motherhood with my suggestion. I just mean, I feel it is a great service to your family to show respect to your husband, show him love, and pay attention to him. Yep, I am suggesting not giving every ounce of your time and energy to your children but giving to your spouse. Putting your relationship first is healthy for your entire family. Approach your family, including your husband, with the love of service, and service will show your family love through actions not just words.
Jake makes me happy, makes me smile and laugh, and we are compatible with very little need for compromise. He is my best friend. I am blessed to have him, and I pray he continues to be apart of our family. I assure him I am something special in my own right, even if I was wasn't the girl he thought he would marry someday, and even if I am not Superwoman.
If you are wondering what "someday" and courtship has to do with being a mother, and why I write about this subject each year, it's because for me, Mother's Day is a painful reminder that I fail to provide my children with a complete family at this time. Someday… Maybe… until then, I wait.
THE JUSTICE LEAGUE
So if I am Superwoman, and Jake is Batman, who are the rest of the people in our lives? The Justice League. Duh!
Jake and I both have great Mom's, both of which are here this weekend along with their sisters. They came all this way to see Uma dance. and spend time with us. It is the first time we have introduced our families to each other. Our families are small and distance separates us from being with them often, but we are both thankful for their support and love.
Jake's mom, Janie has became a very good friend to me, and I love that we text each other almost every day. Janie has seen her share of health issues over the years, and she has battled cancer many times. I think her love for her son's has kept her here fighting illness. A mother's love is so powerful that is can overcome sickness. I didn't go looking for Janie's cape last time I was at her house, but she must have one, I am sure she does. I should have checked the dishwasher, its probably hid in there (that's an inside family joke of sorts.)
My mom has recently been trying to change her health. She has started to eat a balanced diet and she now goes to the gym almost everyday. She works out as much, if not more than I do some days. Wow, that's not just mom power that is grandma power!
I am proud of you Mom, and if Dad was here I know he would be proud of you too. I know you don't wear a cape because you probably have considered the pitfalls (i.e. worry) of wearing a cape… Like getting caught up in a jet engine, just like I know you can see the pitfalls of going to Hawaii and potentially being ate by a shark (another inside family joke.)
The kids and I have an amazing community all around us, including a close ward (church), neighbors, and many people who are apart of our everyday lives, from local friends, to coaches, and teachers. It takes a village… and we live in a great village.
SUPER ATHLETE, A SUPER FATLETE
I don't train as hard as I did last year but then again my family has greater demand of my time this year. I put my family and their needs first, but I know that to keep up with them I must take care of myself.
It has been almost 5 years since I changed my life (diet and exercise). I have had to deal with food allergies, weight loss plateaus, and sports injuries, and it has all been totally with it! I feel 100% better. I look 100% better! I am at the point where I can say I have a great knowledge base about my own personal health and what my body needs to maintain my weight and fitness levels. I don't worry about it like you might think but I am always aware of who I use to be, a fatty.
I have encouraged all the kids to remain active in their chosen sports of lacrosse, soccer, football, basketball, and dance. I coach some sports and for others I remain on the side lines cheering them on. Yes, I am the loud mom! I am also a fit and healthy mom, a happier mom, and a mom who will be around for a loooong time!
A note to my children about my longevity…
Yes my little Gooniebirds, I plan on living to a very old age, so know now, I plan on spoiling your children, and dropping by unannounced, often! I will babysit my grandchildren for free but I will not save your Centralvac from Hotwheels, your beds from spilled chocolate milk, or your toilets from flushed hand towels… Consider that my own version of revenge. Bahaha.
TODAY AND TOMORROW AND THE REST OF MY LIFE
As a parent, I will fall short of being perfect. I will lose my patience from time to time, raise my voice occasionally, overreact, and I will over look some teachable moments, but I will also love my children with the unbreakable bonds of a mother's heart. I will be their safe place and their stability. I will be their guide while allowing them to make their own choices, and allow them to experience the consequences and rewards of their decisions. I will try not to enable them or provide them with a sense of entitlement. I will teach them about hard work, responsibility, about being humble, and having compassion for others. I will teach them that saying "I am sorry," "I forgive you," and "thank you" are some of the most powerful words they can speak. I will teach them that laughter cures many hurts, and tears can wash away sorrow. I hope they give more than they take and I hope they find their divine destines as I have.
I don't need a cape, not that I couldn't pull off the look, but I don't need one. I will stick with my secret identity, for my kids love is all the recognition I could ask for. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom all these years and have had the ability to watch the kids grow and develop into amazing people.
My children are happy and well adjusted. They love the cast of Superhero's that surround them. They talk about attending college, LDS missions, careers, being married in the temple, and having families of their own someday. They have set their goals and standards high, and I am honored to be their mom. I wonder where they hide their capes?
Wait if they had capes, I would know, because I would have to wash them every week, even if they hadn't wore them. Some weeks I wash more clean clothes than dirty clothes.
If anyone wants to know what to get me for Mother's Day, I still could use a pair of kicky little boots… Anyone?… Anyone?… Ugh, I'll buy my own.
Even if I wore a cape, the kids would ignore me when I ask for help in cleaning up messes.
