Why I'm Always Going To Be Different

I've been thinking today about what makes me different.  Why am I much further along in my career than my peer group and why I don't look like the average 30 something Mom of 4.  Most women my age are busy waiting for their allowance from their husband and wondering how they can sneak a purchase in on the already maxed credit card.  And why most women my age are sitting on their butts right now while their butts are getting bigger.  They are getting fatter day by day and they blame their kids and their husband.  Heck many men my age are just starting out right now.  What makes me different?  What makes me that girl?

Truth?  I'm not sure.  It's just who I am.  I am always going to be the person who digs deeper, who wants more, who demands success from myself, and demands the best out of others.  I will always be the girl who will pull greatness out of you... because I pull greatness from myself. 

Only thing you should give up on, is the idea of what the path to your success should look like.  If you thought the path was going to be well lit, music playing in the background, lined with roses and daisy, you are wrong!  The path to success is a rough one, and it has hurdles and obstacles, and its going to hurt, but it will all be worth it, for the big dream.   Think about the big dream, not the idealistic view you had of getting there, if it was that easy, you would already be there, and so would everyone else. 

Listen to this hope you all like it, hope it motivates
 http://8tracks.com/whatsyourname/i-will-fu-ing-pull-greatness-out-of-you

Almost ended this blog by saying "You Dumbass" but I refrained.  

I'm Tired of Hearing You Talk About It

Following was written by another Beachbody Coach Tarah Carr.  I think it summed up the way I feel about some things.  I get really tired of people saying "I want to" or "I'm going to...soon"  Really?  "F" ing do it already.  

 

To check out Tarah website go to http://beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/IAMsupernatural 

 

Don't talk about it, be about it. Of course I want to hear your body goals, your business plan, Your ideas and what's brewing on your mind but I want to see it UNFOLD more then anything. Don't just talk about what's going to happen because talk will never make it reach that end. I think it’s more than just an achievement or being true to your word; it’s about gaining respect, it’s about humility and seeing yourself for who you really are. You are capable to do far more then you know!

If they are worth talking about then your dreams are worth your investment, your commitment, your time, your growth, your courage and efforts. They may not unfold as you originally planned but that doesn't mean it's time to give up hope. Perhaps other ideas originate from taking that first step. You'll never know unless you try. Let go of the need for it to be perfect or having to have it a certain way. Be creative. Let the possibilities paint a new picture for you. Every person has wonderful gifts, talents and skills to share, or fine tune. If you don't know what they are, try different things. What are your passions? What do you feel drawn to? What lights you up when you think or talk about it?

Don't get stuck, keep moving forward.

 

This is Tarah before and after Beachbody.

 

To check out my site and my before and after pics go to www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine

When You Know You Got This

So how do you know when you are going to win?  How do you know that even with more trials ahead that you will come out on top?

You'll know because you'll see the fear in their eyes.  You'll know because they will be trembling at the site of you.  You'll know because they will want you to rot in hell.  They can be loud, they can be threatening, they can say whatever they want, it's all just for show.

And that's when you know!  You got this!  You are right!  You will win!

 

You Are Allowed

You are allowed to have confidence in crazy ideas.
You are allowed to sign your own permission slip.
You are allowed to stop researching and start experimenting.
You are allowed to try new things before you fully understand them.
You are allowed to define your own Success,
You are allowed to push your comfort boundaries.
You are allowed to fail. A lot.
You are allowed to invent a new way to do it.
You are allowed to make work feel like play.
You are allowed to love what you do and the way you do it.

You are allowed to rock the bikini!!



Calm The "F" Down

I have some advice to give today, and I probably need to hear it too.

It's Calm The Frick Down!!!

Some of you, are like me, and over think everything.  If you are thinking about what not to eat, and what you can't have, you will make the cravings worse.  And then you are going to "f" up!  You will gorge yourself and start the downward spiral of which could take you days to recover from and you'll gain more weight.

So again, CALM THE FRICK DOWN!!!

I don't over think food anymore!  But trust me, I over think everything else until I annoy all those around me.  Well those really close to me that is, aren't they lucky?  LOL  There are a few of you right now nodding your head in agreement at my girlie ways (aka annoying ways). 

If today, you have already screwed your diet over, make up for it and go for a walk right now and then don't do it again!

 

The Talk

Amy Cobine - Beachbody Coach

I just picked this pic so I could pin this picture instead of my before and after pic, I really do hate looking at it.

Today I gave away some Shakeology samples to a friend who wants to make "the change," you know, change her life and become healthy and fit.  And coming over to my place to get the samples is a big step, bigger than she may think.  It takes courage to ask for help from someone else, or admit that a change has to be made.

Unfortunately this friend was in a hurry and she could not stay to hear "the talk."  "The talk" is the my little encouragement speech I give everyone when they get a sample from me.

Now, I have a few people, not just one, but a few people in my life that don't love the fact that I blog this personal information, however, I have too!  It's these personal details that make me a real person and allow me to assist others.  I know you all don't want to hear how easy losing the weight was, because it wasn't easy at all, and you don't want to hear that everything else in my life is peachy keen (Lol that word made me laugh).  My struggles, my worries, my stress is the same as everyone else, and the main reason I can call BS when people make excuses.  See I have made the same excuses and know when people are lying to me, and to themselves.  Sorry but I got to do this for now.

Just in case you need reminded on how far I came.  Before pic was May 2010, 190 lbs.  

The Talk...

At my biggest I was 190lbs.  Holy frick!!! I was 190lbs!!!  That was May 2010 and back then I made the decision,  I had to change!  I had to do something.  I had to do something extreme. In June 2010,  I went on a low calorie diet, a diet that included no sugar, no fat, no carbs, and no salt for almost 6 months.   I learned how to eat to fuel my body not to satisfy my cravings or indulge myself.   The diet was tough but by Nov 2010, I was down 40lbs.  By Feb 2010, I was down another 20lbs, and in March 2010, I started exercising. 

Now, if you had asked me two years ago what I thought about my diet, I would have said it wasn't that bad.  That's what all my clients say now, and as soon as they say it, I laugh.  Such BS!!  Our diet is 70% of our problem.  70%!!!  We consume way to many calories, even if you are like I was, and only eat once or twice a day.  We eat too much sugar, too much fat, too much processed food, and too much salt.  And then we starve our bodies of the real nutrition like minerals and vitamins.  If you are at your biggest right now, your body is in trouble.  It wants real food!  It is in desperate need for you to take care of it.  If you have too, think extreme like I did.  I suggest a reset (found on my site).

 
The extreme diet let me see my weaknesses, they included a love of diary (freakin love cheese!) and a love of midnight snacks filled with salt (nachos!).  I figured out I ate out of boredom and loneliness, most of the time.  I now know, I need to eat to fuel my body not to make myself feel better.  The process of losing the weight will make you evaluate your relationship with food as well as the other relationships in your life.  My advice dump the toxic food and the toxic people.  You'll feel lighter within the week. Ha!

Speaking of toxic people, you will find along the way, people who will not want to see you succeed.  Get rid of those people or minimize their role in your life.  If it is someone significant like a spouse or a child, well then tell them to get on the bandwagon because change is rolling through.  Do not give them the choice to bring you down.  You will need to stand up for yourself, which is something I find most fatties to have problems with.  It's time to stand on your own two feet and be who you want to be.

Change like this will take long term commitment and time.  The process of losing the weight took me about 19 months and I am still changing.  I am not losing weight anymore but I still workout and train and watch my diet, like I did during the process.  I am constantly learning more about exercise and nutrition.  Educate yourself daily, it will keep you motivated and keep the changes going!  You have to be committed to the process and enjoy the journey.  You will learn so much about yourself and you are going to find strength that you never knew you had. 

If you have any tendency for OCD behavior this is the time to let those traits shine.  Weigh yourself daily, measure yourself weekly, count every calorie, think about everything you are doing... are you sitting watching TV.. GET UP!  You are not burning calories and you need to be burning them all the time.  You will need to keep these changes on your mind often and to make sure you do not slip into old habits.

Get organized!  You will need to find time to exercise.  If you think you are to busy, you are wrong, you just aren't organized enough.  Start making plans.  I now plan everything, which I know some people hate.  And I know some people think its a Mom thing that I do that, but it's not, it's a fatlete thing.  It's a "I don't want to ever be fat again" thing. 

It's time to be a bit selfish.  Most of you that read this blog are parents, and as parents you spend every second doing everything for the kids, and like me, just taking a few moments from the kids may make you feel bad, like you are being neglectful, but your not.   Taking time for yourself is good for your kids too.  Show your kids an example of  health and when they ask why you are eating differently and why you have started to exercise, tell them it's because you plan on being in their lives for a really long time.  I personally plan on challenging my kids and nagging them forever, and I now have the body that will last FOREVER!  LOL. 

In time you will need to start exercising and when you do, try to remember when you were a kid and you played so hard your face turned red.  It was fun back then to run and jump, all day.  It's still fun, you just need to think of it that way.  Now I am a runner, but you don't have to run.  There are tons of other exercise and programs and I can help you pick the one that is right for you.  Make exercise fun again, its just play time like it was when you were 7 yrs old.  For my clients that are seriously overweight I do not suggest starting a diet makeover and exercise at the same time.  It is too much, you will feel overwhelmed, and you may quit.  I don't want that!  We start off slow and will build on small successes.

This process will take time.  But I need you to take each small success, each pound you lose, each inch you lose, and just do it again and again until you reach your goals.  And when you hit your first set of goals, I need you to make new ones.  Never stop making goals and go ahead make them seem unreachable, because those are the best ones.  My first goal was a size 8.  I thought that would be reachable and I could be happy at that.  "If only I was a size 8" I would tell myself.  But then, you know what?  I hit size 6!   I thought well why not try for a size 2, ha ha right?  I thought I was being sooo ridiculous, me in a size 2, never thought it would happen.  Now I am a size 0 and sometimes a double 0.  Crazy when you think that I use to be a very full size 16.  Again, the crazy goals are the best to accomplish.

I can;t say it enough, enjoy this process!  You probably enjoyed eating and now have the extra pounds to show for it. Now enjoy taking those pounds off. Its going to be hard. You are going to want to quit. But you can't because this needs to happen!  And think about the great before and after pics or think about the great story you'll be able to tell your friends.  

I really can go on for hours about the changes I made, the sacrifices I made, and the tears I cried.  I use to say I regretted the years I spent as a fatty, and that I was too fat for too long, but not anymore.  If it wasn't for all that time as a fatty I would have never had this amazing journey, I would have never became a coach, I would have never met the wonderful people in my life.  I would have never known how strong I am!  I try to live everyday without regret and make better choices everyday.  Thank god for my agency and the ability to make the changes I needed to make. 

I hope my talk has helped a little today. 

If you need more assistance please check out my coach's page www.beachobodycoach.com/amycobine  Also I am more than happy to send fatletes a copy of my kitchen makeover and my coach started letter.   

Commitment

2 week schedule to slim and sculpt your body

As always a pic to keep my male readers interested in this blog :)  Come to see the pics, stay to read the content LOL

And no this one isn't me.

Now I know some of you have a fear of commitment, but you'll need to get over it to deal with the workout schedule I am going to layout today. This isn't a cell phone plan so there is no long term contract here.  I just need 2 weeks from you.  2 weeks!!! 2 weeks, to get you ready for whatever, a reunion, a vacation, a wedding, or in my case a race and some California sunshine.

This schedule is my re-commitment to myself, my fitness and my health and just me giving my body two weeks of intense exercise and conditioning so that I can rock the 1/2 marathon coming up and a bikini (race is near the beach!) 

If you would like to follow this intense schedule you will need the workout programs from BeachBody as listed below (all of which you can buy on my coach's website www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine  If you are a guy I would suggest cutting out the Brazilian Butt series unless you have a thong you are trying to look good in, and if that's the case, I really don't want to know about it. Ha!  Serioulsy I don't want to know.

My plan is to be faster in two weeks and to be what I like to call my "race weight" which is 103lbs.  I am currently 108.  Please remember I am fairly short and my race weight is just the number I feel best at.  If I felt good at 115 I would make that my goal, so please to do not concern yourself with my number or try and match my number.  This is what is best for me, your number and size may differ.

If you do not own everything you need to follow this schedule... well then get it.  Yes it will cost you some money, but so does the gym, so does eating out, so does the fat girl jeans.  Better you spend your money and your time becoming fit and being your best than being just another fatty (for anyone new to this blog, I say "fatty" in the most loving way because I am a former fatty myself.)

My Diet for the Next Two Weeks.

Simple... Shakeology for lunch.  No sugar for two weeks.  No meat for two weeks.  No dairy for two weeks.  Limit all process foods including pasta and breads (I really will try and not eat them at all).  Basically I will eat what I love which is fruit.

My Two Week Kick Your Butt Schedule.

List of programs you will need to maintain this schedule below.  Again, this is not a schedule I would suggest for anyone to maintain long term.  I have already started this program but will be resting the days before my race.  And then will go back to working out only an 1 to 2 hours a day.  This schedule will put you close to 3 hours a day.   And again, it is intense schedule but it will be worth it!

Rescue Me?

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend and he had concerns about my dating life.  One of his main concerns was that he felt that I was in need of a knight in shining armor.  His words "because I know that's what you want Amy.  I know you want to be rescued."

Ohhh, my friend, I don't need rescued by any knight or even by Prince Charming.  See this Princess can save herself.  Always have, always will.  Now I'm not saying there hasn't been people in my life that have helped, people who have made me stronger, but things have always came down to my choice and I have never asked anyone to sweep me off my feet or take care of me.

In fact as I sit here most of the people who have helped me most in my life have all been women , not men.  My best friends have been the ones who has stepped in when I needed them most.  Including Jennifer and her dad Neil when I needed rescued from an abusive druggie home in high school and Chantel when I said "I need to leave this town or I'll die loving this boy" in college. 

If I was the type of girl who needed rescued all the time, would any of you really read this blog?  Would I have lost the weight?  Would I have walked away from a loveless marriage?  Would I have grown a successful career and company? NO! I would just be another fat, unhappy wife, in ill fitted mom jeans, trying to put on a smile, acting like nothing was wrong with my life.  I saw my life headed that direction but I saved myself.  I made the change.

I do want a fairytale, but in my story, the Princess will save the Prince, and I only plan on rescuing his heart.

I look like a Princess but I don't need a guy in a stupid metal suit on a horse to make things happen for me.

I know in previous posts I have said I was looking for Superman but not because I want rescued but because I'm Superwoman and I need someone to keep up with me.  I'll post a workout tomorrow everyone!!  Have a great Sunday!!

Add me on facebook and get added to my fit page.
Beachbody Coach  Amy Cobine www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=546496753&ref=tn_tnmn

RUN

RUN because you have to. RUN because you love it. RUN because you want to be fast. RUN to find some quiet time. RUN to sweat. RUN to eat. RUN to hear your heart pound in your ears. RUN because you're a runner. RUN because you gotta keep the streak.

RUN because you don't know why the hell you're running. RUN because you fought with your partner. RUN because your job is sh#tty. RUN because you got no m...oney. RUN for the sunrise. RUN for a race. RUN because it's impossible. RUN because it's easy. Run to show the boys who is stronger.

RUN instead of doing the laundry. RUN instead of watching TV. RUN because no one else understands. RUN because the cool kids do it. RUN because you're tired of talking. RUN for numbers. RUN for feel. RUN to prove something. RUN because it's better than studying for finals. RUN because it freaking hurts. RUN to look good naked.

Or don't run. If you got something better to do.

On a personal note... to the guys on the mountain bikes yesterday, that called me "champ" as I passed them on top of the hill, thank you.  And I totally kicked your butts coming off the hill.  Ha Ha!!

Short Shorts

Have you ever felt confident while wearing shorts?

Don't worry, I never did either, but it doesn't mean that it will be like that forever, the best things about this, is that we can change it, we can change the way we see ourselves, and, as human beings we all have the possibility of changing our body.  We might have made mistakes in the past, but, what the heck?  We are going to do it, we're going to get there and we are going to wear the shortest shorts ever and feel comfortable.  Because you can do it!  Because we can do it!!

Amy Cobine Beachbody Coach www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine

Do It!

DO IT

For every b!tch who ever dared to call you "fat."

DO IT

For all the times you looked into the mirror, and didn't love what you saw.

DO IT

For the looks people are going to give you.

DO IT

To look bangable in whatever outfit you wear.

DO IT

For the flat stomach, thigh gap, killer calves, collar bone, toned arms ect

DO IT

For you!!

Did I just write "bangable" ? Well it was either that or "f"able. 

I Am Tired Of "Letting Things Slide"

My Beachbody friend and fellow coach Lauralee Fisher wrote this on her facebook wall today.  I liked it so much she agreed to let me share it with all of you.  Today, I kind of feel the same way... maybe you all already knew that from today's earlier post.  Like I said, Lauralee is a Beachbody coach too and here is her link if you would like to speak with her about Shakeology or any Beachbody workout http://www.beachbodycoach.com/scorpioangel

This is Lauralee, and this is what BeachBody has done for her!   

“You can really have everything you want, if you go after it, but you will have to want it. The desire for success must be so strong within you that it is the very breath of your life / your first though when you awaken in the morning, your last thought when you go to bed at night...”

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.”

These quotes express my feelings at this exact moment. I feel right here, right now, I have everything I need to live the life I want to live, have dreamed of living, and deserve to live. It's time to break free from the chains holding me back. If someone isn't with you, they are against you. It's time to let go of things that weigh me down. Time to no longer tolerate being around the people who do not support me or anything I do and surround myself with the wonderful TRUE friends I have.

I am tired of "letting things slide" that should be addressed. I am tired of not doing the things I want to do with my life. Often at times I am called selfish because I have goals, ambition, dreams, hopes and drive. I think it's time to make it ME time for a change while still loving and caring about those who are my TRUE friends. Time to lose the garbage that is holding me back..... I am ready to show this world how amazing I can be.

I wrote this earlier about a workout and I am writing this now about my entire life - It's GO time. Time to rock it!

I'm That Girl

What girl are you?  This is who I am.

I am the girl who loves to laugh
I am the girl who will make you laugh and smile
I am the girl who will always be successful
I am the girl who likes doing guy stuff as long as I can wear pink while doing it
I am the girl who will take care of you and everyone around me
I am the girl who loves fiercely
I am the girl who is full of passion
I am the girl who is stronger than you think
I am the girl who has a testimony
I am the girl you should never underestimate
I am the girl you will regret losing

I want you but I don't need you, yeah, I'm that girl!

Love Thy Self

You say you like yourself.  Well, you should *f*ing love yourself!

Fitspiration for Monday fatletes.  Rock this week!!

Beachbody coach Amy Cobine (soon to be Amy Crabtree again).  www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine

Bringing Sexy Back

First, thank you to everyone who has been reading the blog, please subscribe and add me on facebook and my fit page (Amy Crabtree Cobine, Beachbody Coach).  Today we had the most readers in the history of the fatlete blog.  The "Jello Leg" post is now the topped ranked post and surpassed my announcement of my divorce (finally!!).

So with that, I will post another workout for you.  This one is all back and core.  Are you ready?  This one will seem easy but will hurt the next day:)  Just give me 25 minutes, twice a week.

For this one you will need a little booty band (you won't be using it for your legs today).  Do all the exercise continuously, and don't stop, because you want this.  Don't forget to keep your core tight!

1. Back fly jumping jacks 1 minute
2. Overhead jacks 1 minute
3. Shoulder blade jacks 1 minute
4. Monkey Squats 1 minute
5. Repeat steps 1-4
6. Side lunge flys 15 each side
7. Lat pull downs with band 1 minute (it's like a pull up without the bar). 
8. Wide lat flys with bank 1 min (same at step 7 but with arms straight).
9.  Rotation split lunges 15 each side
10. Superman pose 1 minute
11. Reverse crunch 1 minute
12.  Swimmer band exchange 1 minute (left to right)
13. Swimmer band exchange 1 minute (right to left)
14. Superman pose 1 minute
15.  Reverse crunch 1 minute
16. Plank 3 minutes

Oh how can I not link this song up with this post.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOHvDP_vCs&ob=av2n
And I am declaring it Justin Timberlake day in the office.

I Want To Puke

Today's post has nothing to do with being a fatlete... it's about me and finding more strength, this time as a daughter.

Today I was told my Mom is sick...real sick.  I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, punched me so hard I couldn't breath and I wanted to puke at the same time.  I know in the past I have said "My Mom is crazy," and to me, she is, lol.   I think that might be a normal mother/ daughter relationship.  Over the years we haven't had the greatest relationship but for what we lost she has made up for with my kids.  She is the best Grandma my kids could have and loves them like no other. 

As my Mom asked today to spend her final days closer to me and the kids, I thought I wouldn't want it any other way.  I plan on prolonging her time with her Grand kids as long as possible.  Time is short and there are memories to be made.  My babies are young as are my brothers kids (two of which are not even born yet), and I want to make sure they all have some time with Grandma Neice. 

I know this is my year of being strong but that means finding compassion and patience, and the love and strength to hold someone else up when they are at their weakest.  I love you Mom, and when you are ready we'll bring you home.

A quick thank you to a few people, to Amy and Becky you let me cry on their shoulders today.  To Brenyl, one of my best friends, who I just can't seem to go a day without talking with, I know you always be there.  And to Jake who calls me a nerd when I need to smile. 

And I stole this from my cousin's fb wall and thought it kind of works for me today too

When your down and out you always find out who your true friends are and I may not have many friends but I have the kind who are there when you need someone to hold you up! You know who you are and you know I love you!

If you were unsure of how I was going to deal with this news, yeah, I am going to go run an insane amount of miles.  And I spoke to a therapist who approved of this method of self therapy.  So ha! 

Note Worthy

Yesterday as I was few miles into the Hollywood Half Marathon I saw a store with large banners that said "Note Worthy."  Made me think what in my life was note worthy, and I figured pretty much anything in the last few years has been note worthy.  The weight loss, the running, the divorce, me becoming the person I want to be, and becoming happier.

Made me wish I could watch a highlight reel from the last two years like on ESPN... but then a course there would have to be a bloopers reel too and I wouldn't want to watch that.  (You all would enjoy I am sure, especially one person, who would have a great time saying "I told you so" during each blooper.)

Anyways I thought I should let you all know that 2012 is a note worthy year for me. 

It's the year of 12 races, of 1200 miles, and the year of me being STRONG.

It's my year.

And for my biggest critics, especially the one that spent so much of his life holding me down, you are going to hate 2012... my year!

BRING IT!

BECAUSE HERE I COME AND I GOT THIS

2012 MY YEAR OF STRONG

Will The Real Superwoman Please Stand Up

Today I ran the Hollywood 1/2 marathon with my good friend Katie.  I would like to say we rocked the race but when you put the hill and the end of the race that is hard to do.  One of these days I am going to take a flip cam and record myself running so that I can dialogue some of the stupid crap I think when running 13.1 miles until then you'll have to read my highlights.

Mile 1 - "What the frick!  I'm running down this stupid hill in the dark.  Nate told me I wasn't suppose to run down hills.  I'm not even warmed up!  What the frick!!"
Mile 2 - "Find your pace, find your pace.  Try and keep pace with this guy, oh wait, he is like a foot taller than me, that's not going to work."
Mile 3 "Note worthy"  (see tomorrows blog for details)
Mile 4 "Is that guy checking out his butt in the window reflection?  Oh my gosh, he is!  He does have some booty."
Mile 5 "I GOT TO PEE!!!"
Mile 6 "Superman and Batman just passed me.  Gotta love a guy in a cape."
Mile 7 "That freakin girl is wearing a superwomen costume.  I'm superwomen, stupid BLEEP"
Mile 8 Thought about him and the runners high kicked in :)
Mile 9 "That guy's running pants are see threw.  Oh my... I have seen so much of him and I don't even know his name.  Makes me feel a little dirty."
Mile 10 "  I wonder where that girl got that running top.  I should ask but I would slow us down.  Oh crap, I got to pee again!"
Mile 11 "Why the "f" do I do this?"
Mile 12 "Don't walk, don't walk.  Where did this head wind come from?"
Mile 13 "I can see the finish line.  Ohhh is that Batman and Superman.  Ohh and there is Superwoman.  Capes are lame!  I got this!  Hey, was that Robin Hood I just passed?"

My time wasn't my best but like I said I had a great time.  Hope you all read tomorrow's blog post, I think you'll like it.

Broken

Last night I spoke to dear friend.  This friend has been there for me since Jr High.  She was there the first time I fell in love, she was there the first time that boy broke my heart.  These days we only speak a few times a year but our conversations always pick back up were we left off.  I still think of us as two silly girls, whispering about dreams and boys in the middle of the night hoping not to wake up her Grandma.

This is your time.

She, like me is now divorced and like me, years of a broken heart now show on her body.  She has extra weight that accumulated with the extra stress and lack of love and support.  But now, now she is ready.  Ready to make the change.  She is ready to stand up for herself, her body, and her heart.  All can be repaired my friend! 

The best revenge is not kicking his a$$ it's making your a$$ the best thing he can never have again.

Last night as my friend and I spoke about our futures, I gave my friend my list of what I was looking for in my Superman.  Here it is in short...

A LDS man, active in the church, a worthy priesthood holder, prefer never married, and prefer no kids.  Must have served a mission and I want a temple wedding.  Must be tall and handsome (that's a given). 

She laughed at me when I told her this.  She said at our age (we are only 34) this can not be possible (never married, no kids!).  I wish she could have seen my smile after she said that, it was my all knowing smile.  I know it's possible because I have already seen the path.  I know anything is possible now. 

I use to doubt possibility too.  I use to be one of those people who was "realistic."  Like if you had told me 2 years ago I would be a size 0, I would have laughed at you.  I would have said "never happen."  If you had told me I would run a 100 miles a month I would have told you "you're crazy." "I mean let's be realistic," right?  If two years ago you had told me a co-founder of a major website or a former model would have any interest in a relationship with me, again I would have laughed at you.  See two years ago, I had no self value, I wasn't loved, I had stopped loving myself, and I was completely broken.  I was ignored, I was mistreated, and I was being used.  I did not know possible even existed.

It's been almost two years since I decided to change my life.  Each day since, I have got stronger, not just physically but emotionally and mentally.  Each day I make choices based on dreams and not what is realistic.  Each day I choose to love myself.  I know now that nothing is impossible. 

I'm stronger.  You will be too.

I need my friend to know that things can be better than she could ever imagine. I want to remind her never to settle for less than everything.  And to those people who tell you that your dreams are silly, those people lack dreams of their own. They are broken and you do not need them in your life. 

The repair process will allow my friend to show her true colors and learn who she is as the deepest levels (I sound like a freakin E-harmony commercial).

To my friend,

DO NOT SETTLE!! 
DO NOT LET OTHERS TELL YOU NO!!
DO NOT LET THEM BREAK YOU!!

You may be broken but you are repairable.  You are wonderful and let the emotional baggage go with the weight.  Remember that happy teenage girl who wanted it all, be her again, but with more spending power.

LOVE YOU MY FRIEND! YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING ON THE LIST AND MORE!