I'm A Bad Mom

Disclaimer on this blog:  This may be one of those post that will be used in court and probably is more suited for my Divorcelets Blog, of which I never post in.  Remember, I started blogging for my personal use and this is one of those post that is personal.

It's almost 3am and I just got back from the track.  Wondering what I was doing at the track well after midnight?  Actually, so did the St George Police.  LOL  Lucky for me it was not the same officer that gave me the ticket a few weekends ago, I know because I asked him.  Good thing it is not a crime to run the track at 1:30 in the morning.  When the officer asked what I was doing, I told him "I have issues."  LOL  He thought it was funny.

So, again, what caused me to go run for a few hours tonight?  Well it started with me asking a friend for a favor for my little girl.  It was a favor that I really shouldn't of asked for but some how I did anyways.  And I am not mad in anyway that my friend couldn't do the favor (had to put that in there).  Well someplace between getting the answer to my question and walking to the car I realized I am not a good Mom.  I provide so much for my kids, yet I do not provide them with a basic family, a Mom and Dad.

Now, I am not saying that I regret the divorce in any way.  In fact I regret letting the marriage go on as long as it did because my ex-husband was not a good husband, I question his current parenting, and I think very little of him as a man (this is the part that will be used in court, I am sure).  But the divorce leaves me and my children with an incomplete family.

As my friend and I drove over Red Cliff Drive this evening, I was thinking about my incomplete family and I was very sad when I looked down and could see the Temple.  Seeing the Temple brought tears to my eyes and just thinking about it makes me want to cry again.  I so miss the Temple and I pray my family be made whole in the Temple someday soon.

Tonight (or this morning however you want to look at it) I feel like an epic failure as a Mom which is kind of funny considering it is Mother's Day.  Funny in a boo hoo way not a ha ha way.  I have no advice to give this am or for the day other than hug your kids and tell them how much you love them.

 

I run a lot because I am chasing my "Someday"