I'm a Bad Mom?

It's been a year since I wrote the "I'm a Bad Mom" post here on the blog.  Well... I've came a long ways.  I thought I would take the time to give you a family update and how the kids and I have found peace this year.  Now as I predicted last year, my last year's post made it to into some attorney's file but I am pretty sure the fella that read it had no understanding of a Mother's heart, but then again how could he.  I doubt a post about how well we are doing will get any attention but I am writing this for fatletes.  BTW this is one of those post that is going to take you awhile to read and get the full effect.  So go to the bathroom now, get a drink, maybe a snack, sit back and let's laugh and cry together.

Here is a copy of last year's post.

http://fatletes.blogspot.com/2012/05/im-bad-mom.html

I could address many of the cruel untrue things said about me from another person but the only thing I would like to mention about the divorce is the following...

In August, I was granted my sealing cancellation from the First Presidency of the LDS church, for you non-members, it means I got a Temple divorce.  A Temple divorce is not easy to come by and the First Presidency of the church has to feel that the cancellation is warranted.  My prayers were answered when I received the letter in the mail letting me know my petition had been granted.

OUR LIVES THIS PAST YEAR AND THINGS THAT HAVE GOT US THROUGH

FOOD

We love food.  Wait, everyone loves food.  Ok, but we love healthy food.  We eat 1/2 a watermelon a day around here.  We eat very little wheat or gluten (thanks to me being diagnosed with celiac disease this year.) We hardly ever eat cheese or milk based products anymore.  We reduced the children's milk intake by 1/2 (I can't have that either, another allergy.)  We don't smother everything in a sauce.  We eat simple, we eat clean.

We eat in, not out! Even the kids will now tell you, it is easier and faster to eat at home than out.  And in this house, it will probably taste better.  My cooking skills have improved greatly (thank you Pintrest!).

Wondering about all my food allergies, as one friend put it  "Amy you now come with instructions and a warning label."  So no more cold cereal for dinner for this single girl, oh that sucks.

MUSIC

Music can move the soul and a song can say the words we cannot.  We, as a family find so much enjoyment in music.  Seriously if you walk into my house and do not hear music playing, please make sure we are all breathing.  I am placing this as I high importance so I can place youtube videos throughout this blog post, in true Amy style.  Ha ha.



SPORTS

We love sports!!!  Not just a little, but a lot.  We play them, watch them, and I coach them.  It's all my kids do.  We love lacrosse, soccer, basketball, and football.

Face off in the front yard with my kid that out weighs me by about 35lbs!

I recently purchased the kids a basketball hoop, oh my poor neighbors.  The kids play until dark every night.  If the basketball noise doesn't make them mad, then the lacrosse balls hitting the side of the house will.  And just in case they get cozy in their bed one weekend, the fact a 1/2 dozen kids run threw their backyard, and me driving up and down the road with the lights off, playing fugitive is sure to put a thorn in their side.

I am an athlete, my children are athletes.  We will never allow someone tells us "no", or that sports are not important.  If you can't play, well step aside, we are going in.

A coach that loves to play is a fun coach.

READING

We read a lot around here.  Not just for school but we take our scripture reading seriously.  Reading scriptures can do more for a family than a therapist ever could.  How powerful is that?!

PRAYING

A family that prays together stays together. Again, a powerful truth in those words.  Let me tell you what happened the other day.

My youngest son, Fox (yes that is his real name) was frustrated while playing basketball.  He was frustrated to the point that he had started to cry and scream that he wanted the ball and that he hated everyone.  He was quickly becoming a monster on the driveway court and I started to walk towards him.  In a finally outburst he yelled some unkind words to our friend.  Fox took off running, and minutes later I caught him.  (Yes, he is that fast and that difficult to catch).  He yelled at me "No, you are just going to yell at me."  I assured him I would not yell.  I took him to a quiet chair near the front door away from the other kids.  His face was red and dirty and he was ready to give me a fight.  I often compare this little man to a caged animal (lol) but instead of yelling, or telling him how wrong he was for saying unkind words, I asked him if we could say a prayer.  He said "No!" (typical lol)  So I started without him.  "Dear Heavenly Father, please bring peace and comfort to Fox.  Please let him feel my love for him, please let him feel your love.  When he is upset let him feel your spirit."  I looked up at Fox and he was crying.  He buried his face into my side.  I calmly asked Fox to be kind to everyone.  When he finally spoke to me, he spoke softly, his little voice tender and sweet.  He told me he loved me.

The kids and I say a morning prayer before school, we offer a  blessing over our food, we pray before bed,  and most of the time we say prayers as a family unless circumstances prevent us from being together.  Prayer has brought peace to this home.  Prayer has brought peace to my heart.

HUMOR

We are funny.  No really, we are a funny family.  We tell ridiculous stories and my children's sense of potty humor is classic and unfortunately endless. If you hear what sounds like a trumpet being played in the house, you should hold your breath and open a window.  Seriously!  And chances are my sweet little girl will announce that she is the one to blame.

We laugh with each other, we laugh with others, and we enjoy each others company, except... when the trumpets are sounding.

WORDS

"Stop dwelling in the past, focus on the present, and stop trying to predict the future."

"Speak words that are only kind, true, and necessary."

SERVICE

I love to serve others as do my children.  The greatest gift we can give others is charity.  Charity starts in the home and we serve with happy hearts.

THE TEMPLE

In last years post I mentioned the temple and knowing my family would be restored.  I have since returned to the temple.  My first visit back I truly had a tender mercy moment, and I knew I was back where I belonged.  I am happy to share that experience privately on FB messenger.

RUNNING

Yep, I still run everyday except Sunday.  I no longer run on Sunday and I have not had a reason, or the time to run at 1 AM.  And the kids often join me on the trail or hitch a ride in my jogger.  Running is my time by myself but I have found it can also be family time.

As for last years post that included the St George police, I think they must have wanted to end our tumultuous relationship because I haven't seen them since last May.  I am still a sucker for those blue uniforms and I miss you boys!!.  JK LOL

HIM

When will this family be complete?  Even the kids ask "when are you going to get married?"   "Someday" is always my answer.

Is there a special guy?  Ummm duh!  Are we engaged?  Nope, not even close.  LOL  Until I am ready, until he is ready, I will remain patient.   I know he is super special and I am blessed to have him in my life, I am trying to not push beyond that.  He has touched my heart, stolen my attention, and he makes me smile and laugh.  And I might not want to admit it but I have known since the day we met he was different, and that he would forever change my life.  It's scary to think you can fall so quickly.  Kinda makes me want to puke, and not in an anxious kind of way, but in a 24 hour stomach flu type of way.  You know the puking that starts at your toes and violently moves throughout your body until your head aches.  The kind of puking that takes everything you ever have been given and dishes it back out.  Yeah that kind of puking.  This is all very messy.  LOL

Until someday, the kids and I choose to be happy and complete with what we have now.  We have each other, we have a home, we have friends, and we have our ward family.  In time... Someday... Someday.

AM I A BAD MOM?

No, not at all.  Am I a great Mom?  No, but I sure am trying.  My greatest job in life, my true calling, my  destiny, is to be a Mom..  My purpose in this life is so simple but so divine how can I deny it.  This year I have learned that I must work hard to be the woman, the daughter, the sister, the parent that my family needs me to be.  Everyday can bring a new challenge but I love my children with all of my heart, and above all others, so it's worth every sacrifice. (Yep, I'm crying now).




Thank you to my Mom and the many women in my life that help me be stronger and offer me encouragement.  I would start listing them all but it would take forever!!!