The "Break Up" Workout

(It's going to be ok!)

Last night I spent 3 1/2 hours on the phone with someone I have dated almost a year.  We said unkind things to each other, apologized, argued some more, made excuses, justified our feelings, and once again disrespected our relationship, and in the end, we hung up at 1 in the morning with nothing resolved, still feeling hurt, our relationship still in ruins.  We have been in the process of breaking up for months and in the past few weeks, I have started the process of unraveling our lives from each other.

The past few weeks I got some distance from the relationship and took the time to really search my heart and ask myself  "what went wrong?"  I realized the problem was I had been asked to be someone I am not.  See I am the type of girl who can make the best of any situation.  I can improve anything.  Improvement comes with growth.  I love the possibility of growth in all I do.  Growth in a relationship.  Growth within myself, and it is that ability that makes me happy.  I strive for more.  I strive for the better.  I strive for the best.  I think I can have it all, and in the past, I have proved over and over again, that I can have it all.  I am not a girl who can settle.  I have never, and could never be the type of person that when handed lemons would just be happy with a couple lemons.  I am the type of person who would make lemonade out of those lemons, then open a lemonade stand, and then franchise the lemonade stand.  HA!


I was asked to settle for 75% of his heart and not given 100%, and told time after time, that 100% was not in the cards.  I was asked to be happy with what I was given.  I was asked to be happy with some of his heart but the ability to have it all was not an option.  This goes against who I am at a fundamental level.  I know I deserve 100%.  I know I am worth 100%.  I was being asked to act in a way that was not true to who I am.

Settling made me unhappy.  It caused more hurt and it seems I am good at a lot of things, but acting and pretending to be ok with where my relationship was, was not one of them.  I pretended in the past too many times, and it just made me fat (true story).  I won't go back to pretending, I won't go against who I am.


Again I was on the stupid phone for 3 1/2 hours last night.  Geeez!  What a waste!  When I got off the phone I thought "I could have been doing squats or running that whole time!"  Then I would at least have a nice behind to go with my broken heart.

So if you find yourself in the same crappy place, heart-broken, and still in that awful "we aren't sure if we can even be friends" break up situation, try some of these helpful little strategies and workouts to get your mind off of him....

You must do squats and lunges during each phone call.  If your legs get tired and you just can't keep doing squats and lunges, it's time to get off the freaking phone.  And for each call you speak for more than  30 minutes, you must do 30 minutes of cardio.  For each hour over an hour add 15 mins to the cardio workout.  So my call last night meant I had a long run today... Suck!

Each time your ex text you and you want to text back, do 25 push-ups.  Still want to text him back? Great drop and give me 25 more.  On the toes, please.  Hopefully, your arms will be too tired to reply.

When and if you do reply to his text, for each word you have to do 5 triceps push-ups.  So a reply like "I'll call you later"  is 20 triceps push ups.  Tricep push ups are hard to do, so you might not want to give lengthy responses.  In fact, I know you won't want to.

Each time you feel sick to your stomach from the hurt of it all, well that's the butterflies in your stomach starting to die.  You know the ones you use to get whenever you saw him or he called you.  Then do 50 crunches.  50 in and outs.  50 heels to heaven.  Followed by a 1-minute plank.  Repeat as needed.  If you're going to feel sick to your stomach you might as well get a tighter core out of it.

Each time you check his Facebook, that's 50 jumping jacks.  I personally hate jumping jacks so I just unfriended him.  Ha ha!

Can't stop thinking about him?  Try 25 burpees.  Still can stop?  25 more... yeah just do burpees until your head hurts and you can't think anymore.

Miss his family?  Call your Mom.

Miss him?  Leave the house and do something with your friends.  BTW Ronald McDonald and Ben and Jerry are not your friends, so don't be hanging out with that crowd... neither is Cherry Garcia.  LOL

Still crying over the pain?  Then pray and drink lots of water.  Both will wash over your soul and refresh it.

There is a diet to go with all of this.  You have had to put up with the mess and complications of a breakup, so it's time to eat simple, and eat clean.  You are what you eat, and let good foods like fruit and veggies fight the toxic feelings you may have.  No processed food for 21 days.  That's the rule!  In three weeks you will feel better about everything and you'll look great.

I'm going to improve me because I couldn't improve us.