A letter to a 320lb woman

Dear Friend,

I know how the weight makes you feel.  You feel sad and lonely and you find comfort only in food.   A cookie or cupcake doesn’t judge you and doesn’t say mean things to you.  The food makes you feel good, at least for a moment.  Yeah, there is some regret maybe moments later but whatever you already ate it right?

Your life is already down the path that it will go so you feel like not much can be done. You are married and have had your kids.  You have started to see the kids struggle with their weight too.  Your kids come home from school crying that the other kids are teasing them, but you will once again sit them down and explain to them that genetically you all are just “big” people and then you will promptly call the school to complain.  You know the school administration hates you for calling and hates you even more when you come down to the school but you will not let the kids be bullied. 

You often wonder if people talking about you when you are in public?  Well hellyes some are!  They say mean and cruel things like “If I ever get that big just shoot me.”  Or “why doesn’t that lady going on a “f”ing diet.”  They call you gross, they call you fat, and in their hearts they hate you because they don’t want to become you. 

Even some of your friends say things about your weight.  They mean well but it hurts just and much maybe more when it comes from someone you love.  They ask why you don't just stop eating.  Like it is easy.  It's food, you can't go cold turkey you tell them.

But then again you have said all these things to yourself haven’t you?  You hate you.  And the more you hate yourself the bigger you become.  It is such a horrible cycle and you see it repeating with you and with your family.  I know you put on a proud and brave face because you must stay on the defensive to avoid getting hurt even more.  You are full of shame, guilt, and regret and each day you wish for a change.

My friend, I speak from the heart when I say I know change is possible.  Why?  Because I have made the change as well have others.  It is possible to end the cycle. 

At my biggest of 190lbs I would tell people I was chubby but on the inside I thought I was disgusting.  I could grab handfuls of fat from almost all the major parts of my body.  I did so well in other parts of my life but why couldn’t I control this one thing.  I was frustrated!!!  And I am sure you are too. 

Oh I tried to lose the weight before.  I tried everything I thought was possible.  I tried all the fad diets, and more than a few times I tried just plain old fashion exercise.  And I would lose 5 or 6lbs if I really tried and starved myself for a week or two but the weight came right back each and every time.  I am sure you have had this happen too.   Again, just sooo frustrating!

My friend although I believe in accountability and being responsible, much of what has happened to your body is not entirely your fault.  There are many factors bringing you to this point.  Right now your metabolism is failing you as is the education you have received over the years about health and nutrition.  Are you supposed to eat carbs or not, who knows!  It is all so confusing and seems like experts change their minds weekly.  Experts who look like they have never weighed an extra pound in their life.  I find it hard to listen to some of them when they don't know what it is like to be a fat working mom.

Ok the exciting part of my letter to you is that change is possible. I don’t want you to start a fad diet today and I am not going to ask you go run 5 miles tonight.  I will not ask you to starve: and I will not ask anything of you that is not possible.  I am not going to ask you to take a break from real life like they do on TV shows and don't expect me to yell at you boot camp style and tell you to get off of your fat A$$ because that is not what I do. 

Together I want us to take baby steps towards change, a long lasting lifestyle change, not a diet.  Together we will work on your nutrition and together we will get you more active.  Each day you will feel stronger.  You will love the process once you are in it. Your dream of being that healthy fun Mom is possible.  It is possible!  Say it to yourself right now.  Say it is possible. Your dream of healthy happy kids is possible too and it starts with you.   

Baby steps right?  If it is time for change please write me through my Beahcbody site or facebook me. It will take time and effort and you will need to be mentally strong as well as emotionally strong.  Many of the issues that made you find comfort in food will come up again and you will need to deal with them in an all new manner.  Change is difficult but be ready for a new exciting chapter in your life. 

Are you ready?  I hope so. 

Your Beachbody Coach

Amy Cobine

www.beachbodycoach.com/amycobine

 Below is Beachbody Coach Mary Robinson who once weighed 312lbs .  Mary lost 185lbs in 18 months without drugs or surgery, just diet and exercise.  Like me she said she had a hard time posting her before picture but she too wants to help others and she gave me permission to post this picture here for you.  If you would like to work with Mary as a coach because you feel like you may have more in common with her than me please just send me a message.