The Midnight Fat-Attack

It’s almost midnight and you and your husband head to the kitchen for a midnight fat attack, sorry I meant snack attack.  Oh it sounds so good; maybe some quick nachos (a personal favorite of mine back when I was a fatty) or some buttered popcorn and a soda.  It really does seem like a good idea, until a year of midnight fat attacks add up to you needing to buy bigger clothes and you finally complete your “Mom” look.  You know the look, sensible shoes, baggy mom jeans that sag on your large flat butt, short hair, and a shirt that shows off your large impressive back boobs.  Do they have bras for those yet?

I was a late night snacker.  To this day I fight the urge and I assume I always will.  I have spoken to lots of couples and many of them face the same cravings.  Now, I could give you a list of healthy snack options but the truth is I don’t want you to eat late at all.  It is not necessary!  If you want healthy snack options follow me on Pintrest, I post that stuff all the time. 

I know snacking was fun back in high school and college when you stayed up all night studying and the food was a way to stay awake.  I think for some of us we still want those midnight snacks because we remember the good ole’ days of staying up late with our friends, hanging out, and goofing around.  But the problem is Mr. and Mrs. 4^th Meal, you no longer have a young adult metabolism.  That left you as you got that degree and when you popped out that first kid.

Now your midnight snack is just more calories, and the calories are full of fat, sugar, and salt.  And your snack isn’t a handful of chips, it is a full on meal with all the calories of a dinner.  I know many of you find comfort in the food after a long day, and it does seem more enjoyable when the little people (the kids) are in bed and not in your face and you can finally have a moment to yourself, but if your body is craving food late at night, maybe it’s not food it wants. 

Next time you feel the fat attack occur try one of four things for me.  First, go drink a large glass of cold water.  Many of us confuse hunger with thirst.  Still hungry, maybe a little bored?  Go workout fatty!  That’s right kill the hunger with a workout.  Ok, you don’t want to workout but want to spend time with your spouse, great, go have sex.   Don’t want to workout or have sex?  To tired?  Then go to bed!!!  Yeah, maybe your body wants food and caffeine because you are tired and your body wants fuel to keep going when you really just need to go to bed.  Sleep is so good for you and instead of consuming calories you will be burning them.  Yeah, you burn calories even if you are sleeping. 

Other helpful hints; stay busy.  Our craving for snacks often hits because we are not thinking or doing.  Clean your house, play with your kids, or get a hobby.  DO NOT WATCH TV!  Watching TV often leads to mindless eating, and do no watch TV that makes you think more about food like Food Network or the Travel Channel.  If you love fatty greasy foods then shows like Triple D and Man vs. Food can be a form of self-torture.  On the other hand if you have a weak stomach feel free to watch Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel’s Bizarre Foods.  I also find Hoarders to make me feel a little ill and give me the urge to clean (another calorie burning activity).

Alright, no more fat attacks.  Be stronger than the food, and for any husbands out there, I just told your wife to have more sex with you so you better become loyal fatletes.