The Fat Girl In Me Hates Buying Clothes

I’ll make this post short as it is Saturday and I have a run to go do and I am sure you are all still rilling from yesterday’s Sk!nny Bitch blog. 

Have I ever mentioned my love for shopping.  I mean I really enjoy it.  The thrill of the hunt for a good deal or the desire to find the perfect party dress for my little girl.   I think I am pretty good at shopping, if there is such a thing.  Who else do you know you who can find an $800 dress for $70, and that dress still be in style? 

As I grew fatter over the years my love for shopping for myself, at least for clothes, diminished.  It was so disappointed to try something on at a store.  The clothes would never fit and there is only so much you can blame on the bad lighting in the store’s dressing rooms.  And as I grew fatter I stopped shopping at my favorite stores.  No longer did I shop at Nordstrom or Saks, at least not for myself.  Target clothes seemed to fit better.  A Target’s size 14 fits better than a Nordstrom’s 14.   If you had asked me about the size difference between the two stores back then I would have given you some line of crap about European sizing.

This isn't me but I have had to do this one to many times.

For 10 years I avoided the places I loved and for 10 years I bought clothes I didn’t really want to wear.  I didn’t even wear jeans for 8 of those years because I couldn’t bring myself to buy jeans with double digits. 

But now the weight is gone and everything is great right?  Wrong!  I still get nervous buying clothes for myself.  I pick up the size 0, and I know that is my size, but I am so afraid it won’t fit in the dressing room that I have a mini panic attack.  What if the jeans don’t fit?  I don’t just worry about my body at this point but my mental state; can I mentally deal with any number above a 2?  And the answer is no.  Not at this point, maybe never.  My fat years did damage to my body as well as my emotional well being.  I just can’t go back to being fat. It is actually a nightmare now for me, just like being thin use to be a good dream (one I thought would never happen).

As always if you are tired of being the fat girl, give me a call or a text(360.609.4983).  I have tons of helpful hints, workouts, and meal plans and I can be your support.  I know what it is like to be pretty in the face but ....

Me now the morning of my first marathon