Who Is The Girl Under The Fat?

As we approach Valentine’s Day and as it is Sunday I think it is a great time to talk about relationships, food, and weight loss.  I will start with my disclaimer, I am not a therapist, and I have no idea how to make someone else’s relationship work, I struggle with my own the same as everyone else.  Feel free to skip this blog if everything in your life is just super-duper.

When your husband asks 'Why are you doing this?" Tell him it is so you can be hot and sexy for him and so that he can actually sweep you off your feet without braking his back.

For the rest of us, guess what?  Relationships take work!  I know it totally sucks.  I hope I didn’t just ruin some poor single girl’s dream of someday falling in love and everything being perfect.  And for you single fat girls, I got even worse news, as you lose the weight the relationship will change.

See as you work on your food issues the reason you became a fatty, other issues begin to present themselves.  Issues you didn’t know you had or issues you tried to make better by eating an entire carton of ice cream.  Those issues range from problems with communicating to depression.  And as you find new ways to deal with the food you will need to find new ways to cope with your stress and problem (may I suggest exercise).

But then what if you find out a relationship you have was based on the issues you now no longer have?  What if, your relationship is based on food?

Story time...

Once upon a time a little fatty named Amy had a friend who loved to drink wine (lots of wine).  One day Amy told her friend that she no longer drank wine and had became LDS.  Amy’s friend freaked out! ( I mean really, this girl lost it).  The girl said “What are we going to do together?”  Amy said “It’s ok, we can still hang out and you drink if you like, I just won’t.”  Truth was, Amy never really drank at all, she just had the glass in front of her.  After Amy told her friend she would no longer drink with her, the friend never called or emailed her again. Ever!

See that is a friendship was built on drinking and I didn’t even know it until I took the wine out of the equation.

Story time again…

One upon a time a family’s life revolved around food.  The end.

Did that sound like your families story?  It use to be mine.  See I noticed about a year ago that much of what my family did on day to day bases revolved around food.  Even when we were on vacation the first order of each day was to decide what we would do for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.   Your life based on your feeding schedule is no way to live, unless you are a newborn baby.

I have written before that family support is needed during the process of weight loss but I have noticed family members are often the first to sabotage too.  I really don’t think they mean too, but they are scared of the unknown.  What if they lose their eating buddy?  What if under the sweet fat girl exterior lies a skinny mean b!tch.  What if?

Have I changed since my weight loss?  Yes, a course I have, and I don’t know if all the changes have been good.  I am more confident, I am sure that can be a problem sometimes.  I am more scheduled and get very irritated when that schedule is interrupted.  I may also be ruder, and I will apologize now for that.

So what will be your weight loss story?  Who will you be?

Now I can’t believe I am about to say this but, we can’t predict the future, so it’s hard to say how the weight loss will shape your personality, your emotions, and your new way of dealing with life.  By the way, I really hate myself for even writing “we can’t predict the future” (BS), but we can try and hope for the best and as a couple in a relationship you must grow. Weight loss and the road to fitness isn’t easy for many reasons, one of them being there can be these huge roadblocks in the way and sometimes the roadblocks are our families.   

If your family is making the path more difficult, you will need to have some honest conversations with them, discuss their fears and make them aware of the roadblocks they are causing.  Once you have discussed their fears you can move on or work at change together.

Fatletes for V-Day may I suggest telling your partner buy you some flowers for the holiday not chocolates and for date night tell them you would rather go hiking than go out to eat.

Tell him you are making yourself epic and you will be the girl all his friends wished they had.